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I am sick and tired of being sick and tired with no explanation. I'm tired of the near-constant brainfog, of wanting to sleep twelve hours a night, of coming home from work and not having the energy to do anything but sit on the sofa and stare at the internet. None of this is new. This has been the last eight years of my life, with increasing severity.
What's new is that I've lost twenty-five pounds in a month and a half, without changing what I eat or how I exercise (in fact, I've been eating more). My fingernails have started breaking all the time. I sweat in my sleep.
I've had piles of tests done. I could give a laundry list of things that aren't wrong with me, because all of them have come back normal. And GPs just look at me and shrug and say things like 'it's probably stress' or 'you need to exercise more' and it's just... no. Something is wrong. And nobody knows what it is, or has the decency to straight-up say 'yeah, there's something wrong here but I can't tell you what' instead of making me feel like a paranoid hypochondriac, which, by the way, is a really shitty thing to do to someone with anxiety disorders.
What's new is that I've lost twenty-five pounds in a month and a half, without changing what I eat or how I exercise (in fact, I've been eating more). My fingernails have started breaking all the time. I sweat in my sleep.
I've had piles of tests done. I could give a laundry list of things that aren't wrong with me, because all of them have come back normal. And GPs just look at me and shrug and say things like 'it's probably stress' or 'you need to exercise more' and it's just... no. Something is wrong. And nobody knows what it is, or has the decency to straight-up say 'yeah, there's something wrong here but I can't tell you what' instead of making me feel like a paranoid hypochondriac, which, by the way, is a really shitty thing to do to someone with anxiety disorders.
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no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 08:07 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 08:09 pm (UTC)From:I have a follow-up on Tuesday and I have to work up the guts to push for something more than just TSH testing.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 10:50 pm (UTC)From:Other levels that are worth testing include testosterone, if you are feeling that exhausted. I'm assuming you had your iron levels and blood sugars done? I'm really sorry you feel so horrible. I have low-but-normal thyroid myself, as well as Vitamin B deficiency and anemia. It's very scary to feel this way.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 10:57 pm (UTC)From:I have had blood sugar, B12, potassium, kidney and liver function, and hematology panels done (along with some testing of various viruses - I can happily say I don't have Hep C). I've been iron-deficient anemic in the past, but the blood tests have been fine the last three or four years. Hemoglobin was on the low end of normal this last time, but I feel way more crap than I did when I was actually a fair bit below normal.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 11:15 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 11:17 pm (UTC)From:And it's one of those situations where I'm pretty sure I'm not in danger of idk dying or something, but it's really, really frustrating
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 01:45 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 01:52 am (UTC)From:I don't usually mind the endless rounds of blood tests but I managed to nearly pass out in the lab after the last one (a new, exciting, horrible first). Ugh.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:02 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:03 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:03 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:05 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:14 am (UTC)From:And it was normal. SO PISSED.
I mean, those who knew I was looking into it were like "Yay! You don't have thyroid problems! Thyroid problems are awful!" And I was like "But if I had thyroid problems then someone might know how to make me not feel FREAKING HORRIBLE CONSTANTLY."
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:17 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:27 am (UTC)From:But if there's something that can be done, I WANT IT DONE. (I seriously am shocked I managed to make it to 2012, still am not convinced I'll survive to 2013 unless something gets fixed.)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:31 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:36 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:43 am (UTC)From:You get the throat tightness thing too? I've had problems with that for a while - to the point where at one point I thought I was having an allergic reaction to a med - along with trouble swallowing.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 02:53 am (UTC)From:The throat tightness thing was what tipped me off to look at thyroid problems. I'd had panic attacks off and on for ages, but usually the tension seemed centered in my stomach, and suddenly I realized that the tension was now centered in my throat, and it wasn't always a panic attack, just tension in my throat. (Heck, as I'm typing this, my throat is so tight it ACHES, but nothing else feels particularly wrong except that I'm tired. :P) Googled the problem, found out it could mean thyroid issues, went PING! ...Got tested, nothing.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 03:04 am (UTC)From:I can actually feel it too right now - kind of like something is pushing in right under my chin. It's a little panic-inducing if I actually pay attention to it (which is why I try not pay attention to it). Though not painful, at least.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 03:11 am (UTC)From:Mine really does feel like tension, like when someone says that they have a lump in their throat? That's what it feels like. Sometimes I can loosen it up a little by yawning or coughing, but that may or may not last long. Sometimes I think I should take up drinking large amounts of alcohol. :P
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 03:30 am (UTC)From:And yes, that's exactly it.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-21 12:06 am (UTC)From:Except that means someone else is dealing with the same crap I am, and that sucks. Especially when neither of us are getting anywhere.
(In fact, while grumbling around about this, went back and looked at the hyperthyroidism article on wikipedia again, and clicked on a few of the symptoms that were odd words I didn't know off the top of my head. ...EXCESSIVE THIRST TOO?! How do I not have hyperthyroidism?)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-21 12:09 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 08:12 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 08:14 pm (UTC)From:I've been trying to sort of just quietly plow through this but I've been working hell shifts (midnight to noon) all week and I just got the lab results from the last set of blood tests today and kind of snapped.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 08:23 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 08:24 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 08:28 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 08:32 pm (UTC)From:It's probably part of my mental health problems that I just tend to go 'it's not really that bad... some of my friends have it so much worse, I shouldn't complain' until. Well, snapping point.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 08:37 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 08:38 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 10:28 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 10:57 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 10:49 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 10:51 pm (UTC)From:(I had to go out and buy a new pair of jeans for Juubei right before ACen, because the pair I bought in December no longer needed to be unbuttoned for me to take them on and off. Thank god for thrift stores)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 01:20 am (UTC)From:(Yeah, I had to pin Lunatic's pants to his shirt in order to keep them on, because I had made them under the assumption that I could gain at least some of those 25 pounds back in 6 months. So far... about 5.)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 01:25 am (UTC)From:So far the worst I've gotten is the guy in Internal Medicine who told me if I lost twenty pounds and exercised more I'd feel better. I still want to punch him (I was, at the time, around 175, which is technically overweight for someone 5'9" except BMI is a crock of shit and I'm fairly muscled). Perhaps somewhat ironically the one doctor I do trust is my psychiatrist, even though I know a lot of friends who've had problems with psychs. I lucked out there.
(I have another costume I want to start, but right now I have no idea what my weight is going to do, so I'm afraid to start doing measurements now)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 01:44 am (UTC)From:(Heh, I'm making most of my costumes with multiple seams. One that matches clothes that used to fit me, one that makes clothes fit me now. Just leave a few extra inches of fabric inside. :P)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 01:56 am (UTC)From:(Not a bad idea! Though I don't have any more cons until next year, so I can just... not do it right now, too)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 08:37 am (UTC)From:That is sooo annoying. Even if it were "just stress" it shouldn't be just shrugged off!
I hope you find someone who'll take the time to actually figure out how to help you soon.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-21 01:48 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-21 01:53 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-21 02:00 am (UTC)From: