practicality: (Gwendal | knitting)
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired with no explanation. I'm tired of the near-constant brainfog, of wanting to sleep twelve hours a night, of coming home from work and not having the energy to do anything but sit on the sofa and stare at the internet. None of this is new. This has been the last eight years of my life, with increasing severity.

What's new is that I've lost twenty-five pounds in a month and a half, without changing what I eat or how I exercise (in fact, I've been eating more). My fingernails have started breaking all the time. I sweat in my sleep.

I've had piles of tests done. I could give a laundry list of things that aren't wrong with me, because all of them have come back normal. And GPs just look at me and shrug and say things like 'it's probably stress' or 'you need to exercise more' and it's just... no. Something is wrong. And nobody knows what it is, or has the decency to straight-up say 'yeah, there's something wrong here but I can't tell you what' instead of making me feel like a paranoid hypochondriac, which, by the way, is a really shitty thing to do to someone with anxiety disorders.

Date: 2012-05-20 03:04 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] momijizukamori.dreamwidth.org
Ugh, shitty :c Me and food generally get along well unless my intestines hate it, which is mostly just grease. But I have happily been eating like seven slices of pizza for lunch every day this week (too tired to do real cooking).

I can actually feel it too right now - kind of like something is pushing in right under my chin. It's a little panic-inducing if I actually pay attention to it (which is why I try not pay attention to it). Though not painful, at least.

Date: 2012-05-20 03:11 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] pantswarrior.dreamwidth.org
Hahah, food and I sort of hate each other, to the point where I can't understand (I mean, logically I sort of can, and yet...) why there's a Food Network, and why anyone would watch it, because just looking at so much food makes me feel sick. (Thea's habit of watching it WHILE EATING completely horrifies me - having to eat in the first place is bad enough without the suggestion of still more food!) I've just found some things over the years that make me feel sick 50% or less of the time, and mostly live off small portions of those. :P

Mine really does feel like tension, like when someone says that they have a lump in their throat? That's what it feels like. Sometimes I can loosen it up a little by yawning or coughing, but that may or may not last long. Sometimes I think I should take up drinking large amounts of alcohol. :P

Date: 2012-05-20 03:30 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] momijizukamori.dreamwidth.org
Yeah, total opposite here. FOOD FOOD ALL THE FOOD. I am making myself hungry again just with this conversation.

And yes, that's exactly it.

Date: 2012-05-21 12:06 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] pantswarrior.dreamwidth.org
I'd say it's good to know someone knows what I'm talking about...

Except that means someone else is dealing with the same crap I am, and that sucks. Especially when neither of us are getting anywhere.

(In fact, while grumbling around about this, went back and looked at the hyperthyroidism article on wikipedia again, and clicked on a few of the symptoms that were odd words I didn't know off the top of my head. ...EXCESSIVE THIRST TOO?! How do I not have hyperthyroidism?)

Date: 2012-05-21 12:09 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] momijizukamori.dreamwidth.org
(that was exactly my reaction too. I was like 'WAIT you mean the fact that I suck down water perpetually and have to get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night even if I haven't had any liquids for four hours before hand is a symptom?')

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