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I am sick and tired of being sick and tired with no explanation. I'm tired of the near-constant brainfog, of wanting to sleep twelve hours a night, of coming home from work and not having the energy to do anything but sit on the sofa and stare at the internet. None of this is new. This has been the last eight years of my life, with increasing severity.
What's new is that I've lost twenty-five pounds in a month and a half, without changing what I eat or how I exercise (in fact, I've been eating more). My fingernails have started breaking all the time. I sweat in my sleep.
I've had piles of tests done. I could give a laundry list of things that aren't wrong with me, because all of them have come back normal. And GPs just look at me and shrug and say things like 'it's probably stress' or 'you need to exercise more' and it's just... no. Something is wrong. And nobody knows what it is, or has the decency to straight-up say 'yeah, there's something wrong here but I can't tell you what' instead of making me feel like a paranoid hypochondriac, which, by the way, is a really shitty thing to do to someone with anxiety disorders.
What's new is that I've lost twenty-five pounds in a month and a half, without changing what I eat or how I exercise (in fact, I've been eating more). My fingernails have started breaking all the time. I sweat in my sleep.
I've had piles of tests done. I could give a laundry list of things that aren't wrong with me, because all of them have come back normal. And GPs just look at me and shrug and say things like 'it's probably stress' or 'you need to exercise more' and it's just... no. Something is wrong. And nobody knows what it is, or has the decency to straight-up say 'yeah, there's something wrong here but I can't tell you what' instead of making me feel like a paranoid hypochondriac, which, by the way, is a really shitty thing to do to someone with anxiety disorders.
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no subject
Date: 2012-05-19 10:51 pm (UTC)From:(I had to go out and buy a new pair of jeans for Juubei right before ACen, because the pair I bought in December no longer needed to be unbuttoned for me to take them on and off. Thank god for thrift stores)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 01:20 am (UTC)From:(Yeah, I had to pin Lunatic's pants to his shirt in order to keep them on, because I had made them under the assumption that I could gain at least some of those 25 pounds back in 6 months. So far... about 5.)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 01:25 am (UTC)From:So far the worst I've gotten is the guy in Internal Medicine who told me if I lost twenty pounds and exercised more I'd feel better. I still want to punch him (I was, at the time, around 175, which is technically overweight for someone 5'9" except BMI is a crock of shit and I'm fairly muscled). Perhaps somewhat ironically the one doctor I do trust is my psychiatrist, even though I know a lot of friends who've had problems with psychs. I lucked out there.
(I have another costume I want to start, but right now I have no idea what my weight is going to do, so I'm afraid to start doing measurements now)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 01:44 am (UTC)From:(Heh, I'm making most of my costumes with multiple seams. One that matches clothes that used to fit me, one that makes clothes fit me now. Just leave a few extra inches of fabric inside. :P)
no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 01:56 am (UTC)From:(Not a bad idea! Though I don't have any more cons until next year, so I can just... not do it right now, too)