practicality

A late-night post because while I'm tired, I can't sleep. A little bit of QQ here, although I feel entitled as 1) this is my blog and 2) I haven't done all that much whining here recently, except about how much I hate my job. I was reading through some of my old entries, looking for something, and I started thinking about how it seems like my creativity has become all but non-existent lately. I know I was never one of those people who posted tons of fic or whatever, but I do have a sizable collection of fragments of things, almost none of which have been written in the last two and a half years. And part of my problem, I think, is that along with feeling increasingly zombie-like, all the time, I've also been losing my ability to focus on things. One of the reasons I haven't been blogging much is that while I have things I'd like to talk about, I can't string the ideas together in a way that's coherent (heh, even this post is getting a little garbled). It's frustrating, because it makes me feel useless, and so far, there's no medical reason for me to feel this way - I've had a ton of tests done, and everything has come up totally normal. The next step is trying out a few possible meds to deal with the tiredness, one of which is used off-label to treat ADHD, so I'm hoping that works out.

...I'm not even entirely sure why I'm posting this. While frustrating, I'm not actually massively upset about this (particularly as it will change nothing, other than making me feel more like crap) - guess I just feel like talking.