practicality | (no subject)

Thank god for expense accounts - that ought to cover the damage to that wall...

For the record, what ever else those...illusions are, they are also insubstantial, so don't bother trying to touch them. I'd question my sanity, except it appears I'm not the only one seeing these things, and last I checked, madness wasn't contagious.

(I suppose this is a good time to ask...do others recognize some of their illusions? I recognize some, and enough to guess the identities of the rest)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I-I think I need to go lie down f-for a bit. Think...

Sorry. I'm too used to people knowing what my job entails. And to answer your question, yes, I have killed people, and I made my peace with it a long time ago.

It... Well. I'm not going to say that it's ok. Not to kill people. But springing it on me like that is ok. You didn't know, and I never did ask what your job was. I have a lot of questions. But I don't know that now is the time.

I guess the main thing is that they're insubstantial, meaning that they can't hurt you. If they startle you at the wrong moment, you can hurt yourself, but they can't hurt you directly. All the same, maybe it would be better to stay in one place for a while.

Right now is as good a time as any, honestly. And while your thought has merit, I think I'm going to go stir-crazy if I stay in this hotel room with all these apparitions staring at me. Some actual living company would be appreciated.

Central Park in an hour?

There should be more space for them to spread out.
I warn you, I'm not sure how talkative I'm going to be.

Fair enough. I'll see you then.

She felt the sense of irony keenly, sitting very still on the bench nearest the entrance to the park. Her book lay open on her lap, unread for once as she stared into the flowering shrubs, dredging up the few, fuzzy memories she had of the tall man she was waiting to meet. Had it only been a few days? It felt like most of a lifetime...

Tseng walked through the entrance of park, the familiar surroundings calming him. At least this time, he was properly dressed - full suit and tie, no wrinkles or food stains. He had left his hair down, though he had Sheska's ribbon bookmark in his pocket. "Sheska," he said quietly, with a small smile, not wanting to startle her again.

She had intended to be stern, or at least serious, but hearing the familiar voice brought her out of her reverie and caused a sincere smile to spring to her lips that went straight to her eyes. "Tseng, it's..." The smile faded a bit, but it was still there. Just... sadder. "It's good to see you." She stood, closing her book and brushing down her long skirt. She used the moment to break eye contact and steady her nerves before meeting his eyes again. "You're just as I remember, this time. You're wearing your hair down. It's beautiful."

Tseng accepted the compliment with a smile. "Thank you. That reminds me..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ribbon. "I believe this is your's. Long hair requires a certain amount of patience that I didn't always have when I was younger." His expression turned a touch more serious. "How would you prefer to do this? I can either try and start at the begining, or you can just ask questions and I'll answer them as best I can." He kept his eyes on her, avoiding meeting eyes with the figures that had spread out to stand behind her.

She accepted the ribbon hesitantly, as though she were reaching through some sort of thick jelly. She stared at it, running it through her fingers - a tangible reminder that here, time was fluid.

His next brisk sentences startled her. "I... I'm not sure how much I really need to know.. I don't need to know the details of every person you killed... I guess I just... want to know why. I'm sure there were reasons. But were any of them ... good... ones...?"

Tseng sighed slightly. "Most likely. I'll never know for sure." He took a seat on the park bench. "I suppose I should start at the begining, then. When I first moved to the city, I worked for a company called ShinRa - in a way I still do, although that's getting ahead of myself somewhat. I was, and am, a Turk - we're a black ops squad, basically. Things that are too specialized, or too dirty for the main company security forces to do, we did. I joined because it's a good fit for my talents - I told you when I was young that I was always better at fighting, and I've only gotten better still - and because it's challenging. I didn't actually kill that many people for the first ten years or so I worked there - the first company president prefered to solve problems by bribery and intimidation where he could. I proved better at organising, anyway, and after a while didn't so as much in the field."

His eyes dropped to his hands as he continued, voice faltering slightly. "Just over two years ago, there was an...incident. A group of ecoterrorists destroyed two of the cities mako reactors. In retribution, we were ordered to drop a section of the plate that forms the base of upper Midgar on to the slums below. I...regret that I didn't question that order. I've made my peace with it, and nothing can reverse that decision now, but I do regret it."

He looked up to meet Sheska's eyes again. "After that...the president was killed, and his son, a man I respect a great deal more, stepped up to take his place. There was a force threatening the Planet itself, and in the ensuing battle, the company was destroyed, both physically and financially. I, along with the other remaining Turks, now work for the son, Rufus ShinRa - it's mostly bodyguarding and information gathering now, some retrievals. Rufus was very ill for a long time, but he got better recently, and forced me to take some leave...said I needed a change of pace more than he needed a nursemaid." The last bit was said with a small, wry smile, which faded as he moved on. "I won't try and claim what I did was right, or just - I recognize that it wasn't. But sometimes, it was necessary, in the way that soldiers and war are sometimes necessary."

((OOC - sorry for the textdump, Tseng is like 'MY LIFE. Let me tell you about it'))

She absorbed the outpouring in silence, stroking and tugging at the bookmark in turns. When he finished, she looked away, staring into space down the sidewalk. There was a somewhat lengthy pause, and then she gestured vaguely in the direction of the path, seeming to suggest that they walk a bit. Without waiting for an answer, she started along it, moving slowly and thoughtfully, mulling things over and straightening them out as if they were crumpled photographs in a destroyed photo album.

There were a few terms in there that she hadn't recognized. What was "mako" and the plate that he spoke of... did he mean a tectonic plate? Or a piece of a bluff or cliff? Midgar was probably the city in question... But by the unearthly beings.... either way, that was an awful lot of people. Fathers, and mothers, and children... pets, and friends, and drifters who were just passing through... So many lives...

She swallowed hard, shaking her head and trying to wrap her head around the numbers of ghosts that must be following him around.

Tseng rose and followed her in silence - he knew it was a lot to absorb at once. As they walked, his attention kept flicking to the horde of apparitions following him. None of them had made a move towards him yet, but he was tense anyway.

After a few moments, he spoke quietly. "If you have any questions, just ask."

His words wrench her back to the present. "Hm? Oh, well... I guess I don't really understand the significance of the... mako reactors? I've never heard of them. Are they like power plants?" She paused. "I'm having a hard time seeing why they would demand such a high price for vengeance, I guess."

"Ah, sorry. I keep forgetting you don't have the same points of reference as me. Midgar is built in two halves, a lower city on the plain - it used to be the main city, but now it's wreckage and slums. Above that is the huge metal plate that divides the upper and lower cities, and on top of the plate is the upper city. Both halves are divided into eight sectors, and each sector has it's own reactor. And you're right, the reactors are basically power plants, but they run off the energy of the planet rather than being coal-fired like the older ones were. The damage was in the billions, and they killed a number of people in the upper city as well, but I agree, nothing merits that price. But the President had a temper, and I had my orders." He sighed as he looked down at his feet.

She watched him, chewing lightly at the inside of her lip and resisted the urge to hug him. She wasn't a terribly good judge of when people were lying and when they were truthful, but he seemed heartfelt in his remorse.

A soft sigh escaped her. "Well, I hope you're not bluffing. I've only known you a few days and yet..." A smile brightened her features like a beam of sunlight for a moment. "It feels like a lifetime. I don't want to believe that you are a bad person." For once she didn't turn away, or drop her gaze. "So I won't. Just do me one favor? If you're ever in trouble, or you need to suddenly leave town... tell me? Don't leave me in the dark - just tell me what's going on." She kept her voice steady, with an effort, but she wasn't so sure about her expression... could he see the strength of her feeling on the subject? how she didn't want to lose another friend without knowing about it?

Tseng couldn't help but laugh softly at that. "I suppose in a way, you have known me for a lifetime. Out of the small handful of people I would consider friends, I didn't know any of the others when I was young. And...I'd like to think I'm not a bad person, but...I'm not always a nice one. I'm sure my subordinates could give you a full listing of my flaws, but suffice to say my job hasn't lead to a particularly normal, stable life." Her last words took him slightly off-guard, however, and he looked at her closely before replying - her face told him that there was some past hurt there...perhaps a subject for another time. "I will, don't worry."

Something cracked inside her, and she had to turn to look out over the gardens, swallowing hard and pretending to clean her glasses. Even after a few long moments, her voice was still rough. "I'll hold you to that. If you vanish on me, I'll hunt you down. I've read far too many detective stories to not know what to look for."

Tseng gave her a small, wry smile. "You'd make a decent Turk, you know. You've got the tenacity for it."

She laughed - a quiet, mirthless little chuckle. "If I had to do what you have had to... I don't think I would be able to handle it. Not nearly as well as you have."

She turned back to him, a little twisted smile torquing her glasses off-kilter. "I'm sorry to bring you all the way out here just to explain to me something you shouldn't have to think about, much less relive for me."

"Well, as I've said, things have been different for us lately. Less of the nasty bits - I think it helps that we're looking out for one man rather than an entire empire, and he's...grown up well, I suppose. You actually reminded me a great deal of one of the other Turks, although perhaps a bit quieter." He shook his head gently. "Don't apologize. It was something you should know about me."

"Still... knowing what I do about what could be asked of those under his employ, even though it was his father's orders at the time... It reminds me of working for the military. We were all given some training with weapons because if something should come up and they needed more soldiers at the front, or a way to protect the facility we were stationed in, even we desk workers and clerks would have had to take up arms and... and kill, no matter our personal feelings on the subject." She squatted down in front of a flower bed and traced the edge of a brightly colored pansy. "It's one of the many reasons I'm glad that I left."

She plucked a deep purple flower and stood, tucking the stem into the top buttonhole of his suit coat - a bright spot of color against the somber fabric. "Now, I would assume that those apparitions following you around are those that you've..." she faltered, "those you've dealt with in the past? Are they showing signs of hostility, or an intent to harm you?"

Tseng look surprised, though he stood still, head titled up slightly, while she put the flower in his buttonhole. "You worked for the military? I wouldn't have expected that, honestly." He looked down to meet her eyes again when she was done. "So far, they've just been staring at me which I think is actually more unnerving..."

She smiled much more sincerely this time - odd given her comment about leaving the military. "It wasn't exactly a choice, but I did enjoy my time there." That engaging smile faded slightly, eroding as time and grief scoured its edges. "To a point, anyway."

As though somehow expecting that the view had changed, she glanced around. "I would imagine. ... If you don't mind me asking, where are they?"