2007-05-05

practicality: (Tax Seaon // Evil!Tatsumi)
2007-05-05 05:22 pm

Best Timing Ever

So, I was sitting here working myself into a bit of hysteria and misery, and Justin messages me randomly with 'Thanks for the candy', which caused me to crack up, and was just what I needed. I ♥ my friends.

Things aren't so much bad as just stressful - I really, really do not handle change well, because routine gives me a sense of security, and moving + new job + new classes = not so great for me. Hopefully once things settle in I'll be better - in the meantime, the stress is giving me some really wierd dreams. Thankfully not nightmares, which is what stress usually brings, although one or two of them have been...depressing, I guess? Just a little bit. The rest have been really weird shit, like dreaming I was grocery shopping, or one where we were training baby seals to think they were puppies, and then they couldn't swim. Yeah, my subconcious is a strange place - I can figure out the source of the depressing one, and even the grocery store one, but the seals? Noooo clue.

I've also got some stuff I think I need to talk through with someone, but there's way too much backstory to it all, so there's only like...two people I can actually talk to about it. Both of whom have been offline most of the week. Oh well - trying not to stress about it when I can't do much about it.

And for a moment of random amusement from yesterday, which I forgot to post - apparently there has been repeat problems at my store with old ladies stealing canned tuna.

EDIT: Also, the Wargamers are slowly learning that the way to my heart is through my stomach. Mmmm, delicious chicken and rice. Makes me fully of happy~
practicality: (Dante/Virgil)
2007-05-05 11:33 pm
Entry tags:

A Confession

I have a hard time really, truly hating people, and a hard time holding grudges. I think this is because of a number of things - first, I can never really work up the emotion to actually hate anyone not close to me. Dislike, yes, but for the most part, there can't be any real deep personal-level dislike because, well, they're not close enough to be able to hurt me or my relationships with others, and there's no real point in caring. Which means all the people I want to really, truly hate are former friends. Only my friends have the power to get me that worked up and angry, at least for more than five minutes (short-tempered, me? Yes). The problem there then because they were friends, I can still remember all those good moments back when I still liked and cared about the person, and part of me wants to forgive and be forgiven, because when it comes down to it, I want to like people, and I really, really want to be liked. And this leaves me feeling conflicted - how do you forgive someone who has done the unforgiveable, and reconcile what they did with who they used to be? Which is all topped off by my own stubborness - I want to be right, and for them to be wrong. I want to be able to just hate them. My dad would probably have some deep, sagely advice on the answer to this problem, but I don't.

(I know there've been lots of posts and a fair amount of navel-gazing lately - it's what happens when I have no work or school for a week, and half my friends have gone home and most of the rest are getting various summer thing set in action. I sit around and think waaaay too much. This will probably end next week when the insanity begins. Though I will inform you all if we have any geriatric tuna thieves.)