practicality | Nevermind

Screw feeling abandoned, I now feel replaced. Did I really mean that little to you, that you can just do that? Fuck. I hate my life. And Calc 1, which is unfortunately part of my life.

I have a new copy of Good Omens and some new Fruits Basket, and somehow this doesn't cheer me up at all -.-

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, while I know it isn't my place to say anything on this, as I certainly do not know you all too well; besides the few delightful entries I do happen upon; I hope you won't mind my attempting anyway.

The feeling of being superceded or left behind is one of the worst sentiments we as humans can experience. This is for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes, because we're not ready to let go ourselves. Other times, it's because we realize how much we've given up for something that may not have worked out. I mean, there are probably a billion reasons, and all of them are equally nagging- which may be the worst of it, the fact that its always lingering somewhere in the back of your mind. The fact that the feeling dulls with time isn't helpful at all when the wounds are still raw. But what I can tell you, knowing absolutely zilch about what you are referring to in the first place, is this--

People, things, emotions, and memories can never be lost, or abandoned, or replaced. Because, as long as there was even one moment where you held that person or thing dear, or where you felt that emotion or made that memory; then it is with you forever. It happened. And you cannot ever change its effects on you. No person can ever be replaced- not really. Even if one day you love someone, and the next day, you decide you hate them; the fact that you did love them once will always exist. And so I hope you cheer up soon, because you seem like a truly great person; very intelligent, and wonderfully creative.

While that probably wasn't helpful at all, at least you have an excellent book waiting to be read that maybe can take you mind off of things. Neil Gaiman is a God. Might also like - White Oleander (Janet Fitch), Cloud of Sparrows (Takashi Matsuoka), Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov), or A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (Dave Eggers).

What did I do now?

Well, the fact that you've still got me blocked and refuse to speak to me, for one. For another, the fact that you're replacing both me and Mara in your little X group for Otakon next summer, which you're doing with one of my _friends_. You know how much that hurts? It hurts a lot.

I don't have you blocked. I haven't been online.

Cassandra asked if Chris would be her Seishirou. You have a Subaru. I have no way of knowing if you're even going to Otakon, especially considering your refusal to come with me this year.

Perhaps if you would like to have cosplay plans, with me or anyone else, you should make some.

Well, you had me blocked. It's a bit hard to tell if you're online or not when that happens.

I may have interpreted it wrong, but there definately seemed some implications that you were joining them in X cosplay? And you've kind of killed most of the groups we had going by refusing to acknowledge to existance of one of the main members - I'm working under the assumption that anything involving both you and Mara isn't happening any more. Which is pretty much everying other than my FF7 cosplay, which I have no idea if you were in on or not anyway.

I'll do X cosplay with them if they want me to, sure. I don't mind doing cosplay groups with Mara, but I don't know what I'm going to have time for this upcoming year with the plans I have already.

I'm definitely not going to have time for Cloud, sorry.

Well, it's kind of hard to have a group where two members won't speak to each other. And this means we're not doing KKM or Cain, or any other X/TB stuff? Or you're not, at any rate.

*shrug* Your loss, I guess - this will probably be my last masquerade in the area, unless I get into MIT, which is unlikely. I would have liked to share it with you, but if you've got all sorts of other plans you haven't bothered to share with the rest of us, so be it.

I don't know whether or not I'm doing KKM. I'd like to do a Cain group. You and Mara are the ones with all the TB/X plans, not me.

I'm not going to reply to the second paragraph, because I'm really weary of it.

Well, if you'd like to do Cain, I'd suggest actually trying to work things out with Mara. Because there's not much point to a cosplay group if we're all going to sit around not speaking to each other.

There's nothing to work out, Cocoa. I'm fine with hanging around with Mara for cons/photoshoots, chatting, etc.

If you and/or her refuse to do Cain cosplay with me, that's fine too.

Considering you've not spoken to me in a month, I somehow doubt that, Claudia. What exactly are you saying?

If Cocoa wants to do cosplay groups involving both of us, I wouldn't mind that. If you don't want to do cosplay groups with me, I don't mind that either.

sfew

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