practicality

I am, as you may have noticed from the last post, feeling a lot better. Still kind of upset, but a more managable sort - talking with Skuld and Mara helped a lot, as did everybody's nice comments - you guys are great, I hope I can repay it someday <3 However, unfortunately, this mess is not finished.

As Certain Parties (ie, Claudia) feel I have grossly misrepresented the truth, here is the short version of how things fell apart. I'd like to give the long version, but that would be me putting a month's worth of AIM chat logs online, which, while I don't mind, as I know when I did something wrong, and can handle people pointing that out, I'm not sure she'd feel the same way, and I can't really ask for permission as she's not speaking to anyone right now.

For the last month or so, we've been fighting a lot, kind of on and off, usually about stupid little things (isn't it always the little things? Ah, life.). It usually followed the pattern of me being in a bad mood, and making some moody comment, usually not directed at her, but I will admit, sometimes. She'd get annoyed about it, then I would get annoyed about _that_, and it would escalate until she would stalk off and either go away, sign off, or block me, usually for a day or two at a time. Many times this would just make me more frustrated, and left me in a bad mood, which would cause everything to start over again when she came back. There was at least one or two instances, though, of me saying something, in a good mood, totally off-hand, and her getting annoyed about it and storming off, leaving me to go 'WTF?' and try to figure out what was wrong.

In short, it was a mess made by two people, and I was one of them. However, I do feel that pretty much all of this is being blamed on me, when it seems to me like it wasn't. But that's up to the observer to judge, I guess, which is why I'm writing this.

And a more personal message, to Claudia, if you're still reading this - don't be angry at both your and my friends, because they're being decent people - they had no part in this, and it's not fair to them. And don't be angry at me and Mara for doing something we planned far before this happened, invited you to, and you encouraged me to do. It makes you look immature, which I doubt is the impression you were going for.

On the Next Episode of Cocoa's Blog: My weekend adventure, Part the Second (probably tomorrow, I've been running around all day and I'm tired =.=)