practicality: (Default)
practicality ([personal profile] practicality) wrote2004-06-14 08:42 pm

Isolation

(warning, possibly very disjointed musings) (also, check last entry. The people I needed to read that quite obviously did not)

I've been thinking a little, recently. Just about random things, about me, how things have been going recently. And I had a strange, somewhat paradoxial realization. Over the last few weeks, I've had a number of very social moments, at least for me, where I actually go out and spend time and make friends, and talk to them, but at the same time, I've been pulling more into myself in the stretches inbetween, becoming more reclusive. It's not depression, or stress or anything...I think....it's probably closer to apathy, really. I'm heading back to the way I used to be in elementary school and middle school, that maybe two or three people reading this remember at all - where I basically just don't care enough to reach out to the rest of the world, and be content alone, with my music and my reading, as, as it's always been, most of the world doesn't exactly reach out to me ^^

*sigh* Some part of me realizes this is probably not a good thing, but the rest of me can't really bring itself to be terribly upset. This whole ramble is probably from too much ALHR and not enough sleep, anyway ^^


Top Commenters on [livejournal.com profile] momijizukamori's LiveJournal
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I'm actually not surprised at all by the first five. Totally expected there. The second half was a bit more 'Wow, they comment that much?', even though it's really not _that_ much, I just don't get a terribly large number of comments.

:)

[identity profile] seracy.livejournal.com (from dreamwidth.org) 2004-06-14 07:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, you're my cocoapuff... ^_^

And when should we get together? Maybe sometime in next weekend? not this weekend, the one after that, after father's day. No plans that I know of on this end. how about you?

As for the apathy, I wouldn't worry too much. I kinda saw it coming, and it can be a relief for you. Makes you a little less stressed. You know, it could be that now that you're socializing more, you don't feel the need to reach out? you know, the if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it thingeroo. Switching roles....

I THINK I know what I'm saying. Ask me tomorrow morning, when I'm not dying ^^

<3

Re: :)

[identity profile] momijizukamori.dreamwidth.org 2004-06-14 07:46 pm (UTC)(link)
...Um, I'm fairly certain Father's Day was yesterday. I'm here this coming weekend, but after that, starting a week from this Thursday, I'm in NC until the 4th of July x.x

And your theory would make sense if the social was starting to come to me, instead of me going to it, but largely, it's not. Which means that if I don't bother trying to talk to people, I'm basically cut off from the rest of the world.

Bleh. I just want to sleep and play FF7 but I have school and my computer doesn't like the discs....