practicality

And you got mad at me for being an idiot. Idiot.

But welcome back anyway, I'm really happy to see you, especially so soon. I'll come and visit you at the candy shop after a couple days, okay? I can never believe just writing when this sort of thing happens.

[There's a short, broken laugh, and a not-quite-sane look in his eyes. When he finally catches his breath again - and it's probably pretty clear that he sounds like he's been running laps around the Sphere - he speaks again]

You too? No. I didn't betray you.

It's good that you're [pauses, trying to work this one out, and settles on] around.

[She wants to say many things. None of them are safe.]

Take care of yourself. Do you need anything?

[There's a few drips of ink as Souji contemplates what to say. Then-]

No, I'm fine. Thank you.

[Liar, she wants to say. No one is fine after something like that. But she doesn't know him that well, and there's such a thing as personal dignity, which... takes many forms.]

Just be careful, then.

[Rain enters, and kneels across from Okita's spot. These visits are really becoming quite routine... but there's very little that's routine about the circumstances of this one.

He picks up on the substitution of 'sama' for the usual 'dono' and his brows furrow slightly. He doesn't know Tian personally, but he's aware of his relationship with Okita, and he imagines that the dragon must have been considerably enraged... he wouldn't have harmed Okita though, would he? Is that why he's not breathing well? Rain's eyes narrow, and his voice is steely when he speaks.]

...And?

[Ah. Tian cast him off, then. Rain... well, he can understand it. If Okita pledged his service to Tian and then went and did something so consequential - and so reckless - behind his back or even against his will... Rain doesn't necessarily like it, but he can understand it. What Tian does is his business, though; Rain's just concerned with Okita here. And he never truly understood why the man pledged his service to the dragon to begin with.]

Here, perhaps, you are. But you know that he was always just a substitute. [Rain's aware of how cold and harsh that sounds, but he's not taking it back. While a fair portion of his anger has abated at seeing Okita in such an obviously shaken state, it hasn't entirely dissipated. After a pause though, he does temper his statement a bit.] Your true master is elsewhere.

[Another pause, and then...] What do you mean by 'barely that'?

[Rain's eyes widen, slowly, and he goes completely still. One of... Okita's lungs. The words replay themselves in his mind, sinking in a little more each time, and it's several long seconds before he can do anything more than stare at Okita in appalled shock. When he finally speaks, his voice is soft and hoarse.]

...Gone.

[What remaining anger Rain harboured up until this point has now utterly vanished. What Okita did was stupid, incredibly so... but he's paid for it. He's more than paid for it. He won't be able to fight like this - he's right. He's barely any sort of samurai at all, anymore. This price... is too high.

A new, colder fury creeps in to take the place of what's just vanished, and it's not directed at Okita, but at Edensphere. This can't be allowed to continue. This place has too much power, and abuses it all too readily. It has to be stopped... somehow, whatever the cost, it has to be stopped.

His eyes harden, but Rain keeps that fury in check, tucks it away - he's just admonished Okita for acting recklessly, and he's not about to run out and do the same. A shinobi must be patient... his time will come.]

I'm sorry. [It sounds hollow, meaningless, and Rain's not even sure why he said it. It changes nothing, and Okita probably doesn't want his pity. But it's said. And now Rain really needs to think about something else before his composure slips any further.]

Speaking of names... [He flips through the notebook he's brought in an effort to pretend that moving past this news is easy, but his voice remains conspicuously tense.] I've recovered several more. It's... [he swallows] ...why I wasn't there. I received a memory crystal.

[It appears as though Okita's just as much in favour of a change of topic as he is. Rain locates the section of his notebook in which he's jotted down his notes about the latest memory, and he takes a moment to quickly and quietly skim through them. It helps him to collect his thoughts, and when he speaks again he sounds like his usual composed self.]

Several. There were many people present, among them a Toudou and a Sano. I mentioned someone by the name of Furutaka at one point, and someone else mentioned a Yamanami. The vice commander was there, and another person I couldn't identify addressed him as Toshi. [Rain pauses, glancing up at Okita... but if he can read the name Hijikata now, he should be able to hear that one also, right?]

...The rest of my name, as well. It's Yamazaki.

[Rain nods. It does fit - it feels even more comfortable to him than the name Susumu. Perhaps he'll start going by it. But that thought can wait; there's more to the memory, and Okita should probably hear it. He continues.]

You were also there. We were preparing for battle, by the sound of it. There were thirty-four Shinsengumi soldiers, and roughly forty of the enemy hidden in the city, and it was ultimately decided that we would not wait for reinforcements from Aizu. [And Rain has to wonder just how that worked out for them... he advocated waiting, after all.]

[The question brings Rain right back to he's missing a lung, and he swallows, but answers smoothly.]

You said very little, but you sounded fine.

[Rain's not sure, either, exactly where this incident fits in; he's able to determine a rough timeline for some of his memories in relation to others, but this one... there was nothing in it for him to go by. It probably came earlier than Okita's memories of being sick, though... actually, Rain hasn't had any memories wherein Okita seemed to be anything less than healthy.]