practicality

I think I've reached a whole new level of upset, where I'd like most of the world to stop existing, or at the very least, leave me the fuck alone. The part of me that always gets upset when everybody else is off doing their own thing without me is still upset, but for the most part, I don't want to go out. I've spent most of the week down here by myself, and I'm going to spend most of next week doing the same, and then a third week, doing the same thing in somebody else's house, although possibly with video games, hiding from my brother and his friends and the rest of my family. Fuck my cousins, they're not my friends and they'd hate me if they knew I was gay anyway.

I don't want sympathies, I don't want people around, I don't even want to be talked to, except by a very select few, who I think are all busy anyway. I don't want to be touched. I just want to be left alone, and for everything to be alright, although I've no real hope of that happening.

...I miss her, still. This is pathetic. I'm going back to my book now.


EDIT: Alright, the book and some food put me in a better mood, even if if the ending to said book made me want to cry. I'm such a sucker for sappy endings, I think. And I still miss her.